


Just Breathe

by Amorfati32



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 22:38:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7380253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amorfati32/pseuds/Amorfati32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulder comforts Scully after her second encounter with Donnie Pfaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on a Tumblr prompt and includes brief spoilers for Orison

Mulder followed Scully into his bedroom, pausing by the doorway as she padded towards the bed. Rather than sit down she simply stared at it, looking incredibly lost and small wrapped up in her blanket. He'd tried to talk her into getting changed back at her apartment but she'd refused, simply wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. The cops arrived and took both their initial statements, and Pfaster's body had barely been removed from the scene of the crime before Mulder was helping Scully into his car, and driving her over to Alexandria as quickly as he could. She said nothing during the journey, keeping her eyes trained out of the passenger window as she shivered, still wrapped underneath her blanket, and he didn't try to push her. When they arrived outside his apartment, he grabbed Scully's overnight bag from the back seat and led her up into the complex. "Can I get you a drink?" he'd asked her as they entered his apartment, but she'd simply shaken her head and wandered off in the direction of his bedroom. 

As she stood by his bed, Mulder approached her, placing her bag atop the mattress. "Here you go," he murmured. "I'm sure you want to get out of those clothes." Scully glanced over in the direction of her bag, but made no effort to move. "Are you...are you sure you don't need to get checked out?" Scully had refused medical treatment back at her place, insisting that she wasn't hurt. Mulder wasn't quite so sure that she wasn't injured, he knew she just wanted to escape her apartment. 

"I'm fine."

She was anything but fine. "Did he...did he hurt you?"

Scully shook her head, a little too quickly. Of course he hurt her, Mulder realized. Maybe not physically, but it would take a long time for the psychological scars to fade. "It's nothing," she said. The bruises and cuts on her back would heal in time. 

"Can I get you anything?" Another shake of the head as she wrapped her arms around herself. "I'll give you some space to get changed. The bathroom's all yours if you need..." He hesitated, looking over at his partner as her shaking increased. "Scully?" He realized with horror that she seemed to be fighting for breath. A look of horror flashed across her face as her trembling intensified, so much so that her entire body was shaking uncontrollably. "It's ok Scully." He watched as she collapsed onto the bed, the movement causing the blanket to fall from her shoulders. Scully slammed her eyes shut, balling her fingers up into fists as she struggled for breath. "I can't...I can't breathe Mulder. I can't..."

Mulder was by her side in seconds, kneeling down on the floor, giving her the space he suspected she needed, but resting his hands on top of hers. "You're ok," he said soothingly, worry etched across his face as he studied her, seeing her fight for breath. "Breathe, just breathe." 

"I can't." 

Squeezing her hands, Mulder took a deep, measured breath in, holding it for a few seconds before releasing it. "Open your eyes Scully," he urged. "It's ok, it's just a panic attack, you can get through this."

Scully shook her head, tears escaping from the corner of her eyes as she hyperventilated. Her face was flustered, her expression pained, and Mulder felt completely helpless as he looked on. "Please Scully, open your eyes for me." With great difficulty she did, and Mulder could see fear reflected in them. He continued his measured breathing. "Just breathe," he repeated, keeping his voice calm, rubbing his thumbs over her hands in a bid to try and soothe her. "You're ok. Deep breaths Scully, deep breaths. I got ya." He watched as his partner looked down at him and tried to get her breathing under control. Every time she moved to close her eyes, Mulder was there to encourage her to keep her gaze on him, wanting to keep her centered. "In...and out....in....and out..." 

He lost track of how long they stayed like that, Scully sat on the bed trying to get her body back under control, Mulder kneeling in front of her, wanting desperately to take her into his arms but well aware she needed her own space. His knees ached and he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to stand for a while, but he stayed there regardless. She needed him. Finally he broke through to Scully, and her breathing began to slow. Still he kept talking, wanting to try and reassure her, aware that his voice seemed to be anchoring her. "In...and out...You're doing great Scully, you really are." She shook her head. "You are. You're going to be ok, you're safe now. Pfaster's not going to hurt you." Mulder cursed himself when, at just the mere mention of Pfaster's name, Scully began to panic again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he apologized. "No one's going to hurt you. You're safe and you're going to be ok, you just need to keep breathing." He took another deep breath himself, encouraging his partner to do the same. Thankfully she did. "That's right, keep going Scully." He sighed in relief when suddenly Scully relaxed her hands, and reached out to take hold of his own. He didn't fail to notice the fact that her nails had dug into her hands, leaving behind crescent-shaped indents. "That's good, that's good." 

Gradually her breathing slowed until it was virtually back to normal, and Scully broke her gaze with Mulder to look up to the ceiling, her tears still falling. Feeling it was safe to do so, Mulder crawled up onto the bed, not letting go of her hands, and took a seat next to her, taking care not to touch her. The last thing he wanted to do was panic her. Pfaster had invaded her space already that day, and Mulder didn't want to make it any worse. He smiled sadly as she tugged on his hand and he took the hint, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her in towards him. Her head gravitated towards his chest, her tears slowly soaking through the material as she clutched at his shirt. Mulder said nothing, simply holding her, letting her know he was there for her, aware that she would talk when she wanted to. Minutes passed before she spoke. "He said he was going to kill me," she said in a small voice. She was always so strong, even when her world was being turned upside down, and it unsettled Mulder to see her so vulnerable now. He was just glad she wasn't shutting him out and was letting him try and help her through it. "He said you were going to find my body in the bathtub. He was going to kill me slowly and chop...chop..."

"You did the right thing," Mulder reassured her, well aware that Scully had several emotions coursing through her at that moment. She was trying to tell herself that she was right to pull the trigger. "You not only saved yourself, but other women too, because you know that he would have killed again and again until he was finally caught." Scully shivered despite herself, and Mulder reached out, grabbing the blanket with one hand and wrapping it back around his partner. "If you hadn't have pulled the trigger, I would." She pulled back to look up into his face, her watery eyes searching his, as if silently asking him a question. He nodded. "If I thought he'd hurt you in any way, there would have been no hesitation. He was a monster, one of the most sickening people I think either of us have ever encountered, and the world is a tiny bit safer now he's gone."

"I don't think he has gone," Scully replied, an edge of panic still evident in her voice. "I think he's going to be with me for a long time. Every time I close my eyes..." She sighed in defeat. "And then there's work -"

"It was self-defence," Mulder insisted. "There is no doubt that it wasn't. You said yourself, Pfaster intended to kill you, he already had you hostage in your own home. You were protecting yourself, and everyone knows that. And I'm not saying it'll be easy to put this behind you, but you have Karen," he said, referring to Scully's therapist. "And you have me too. When you want to close your eyes, I'll be here to help chase the demons away. And if the panic comes back, I'll be here to help you breathe." Scully closed the gap between them once again, squeezing him tightly in thanks. They stayed like that, wrapped in an embrace with Mulder soothing Scully with words as she cried. Another panic attack came and went, but he was there to help chase it away, and when Scully finally did close her eyes, Mulder was there by her side until she eventually drifted off to sleep.


End file.
